July, 2008 Monthly Newsletter
Building Socialization Skills in Children
by Art Pryor USK Karate Academies
Science frequently tells us what our common sense already knows, but I believe that parents in today’s world need to have a heightened awareness of the importance of socialization skills and how to build them in children.
• In a preschool classroom about half the children’s request to play with their peers are met with rejection.
• Parental responsiveness and nurturance are considered to be key factors in the development of children’s social competence.
• Children who display high levels of social competence enjoy parent-child relationships characterized by positive and agreeable interactions.
• Children who are able to participate in stable peer groups become more competent than children in groups whose members change.
• Children whose parents frequently play with them have more advanced social skills and get along better with peers.
• Parents of the most socially competent children laugh and smile often, avoid criticizing and are responsive to the child’s ideas and aren’t too directive.
• Children who are encouraged to think in terms of other’s feelings and needs are more positive and prosocial.
• Children whose parents talk with them more often about emotions are better liked by their peers.
What should parents do to help their child socialize?
• Take the responsibility to be a parent and do not slough this important training off to a day care center, nanny or au pair.
• Spend a reasonable amount of time every week playing with your child where they’re in charge of the play but you’re giving guidance and educating in a positive way.
• Teach your children about how people feel and why and how others react and why and how to respond.
• Teach your children that others may reject their efforts to join in their group but to respond to that rejection with a positive alternative, such as: “Can I play house with you?” “No.” “How about this, I’m Santa Clause and I’m going to come down the chimney with presents. What toys would you like?” “ Santa Clause? Wow! Let’s play!”
• Teach your children that rejection is a part of life and not necessarily a rejection of them.
All the studies show what you would expect -- that children who are successful at socialization are happier and better adjusted and have more positive experiences as adults. Children who have poor socialization skills tend towards low self-esteem, depression and a negative outlook on life as adults.
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